NEWS FLASH! There’s a Woman Hater on the Loose!

Now, doesn’t that sound like I’ve turned into a raving lunatic? LOL! But hear me out. That’s actually in the Bible.

I noticed during both of my separations and have also seen unmistakeably in the three years since I left my ex-husband for the final time, that the Satanic attacks are unrelenting and diabolical in their intensity. I might take it personally if it weren’t for the fact that I also see every other woman I know in the same place facing the same level of opposition. The same type of attack is also leveled at organizations and individuals dedicated to helping women who are being abused, have been abused, or are single, divorced, single mothers, etc.

I believe Satan loves to use abusive men to accomplish his purposes. But when we leave them, he doesn’t quit. He has ways to continue to use our abusers even after divorce, and he turns to other avenues as well. That doesn’t mean we should stay with an abuser to limit Satan to one avenue! Please don’t hear me say that! But Satan does hate a woman alone. It is almost like he has separated a vulnerable, wounded animal from the herd.

If you haven’t walked there you just would not believe the things that happen. We get sued by people – even parents! – for blatantly unjust reasons. The attorneys we had to hire to protect our children from their abusers, then sue us for our child support – and get it. Did you know when you get sued like that you also have to pay the other party’s attorney fees and court costs? So in addition to the judgment, you can add another several hundred or several thousand dollars to the total…

We are fired from jobs due to obvious discrimination and have paychecks bounced month-after-month. This causes major repercussions such as having our utilities cut off, evictions, etc. These actions go on our already ruined credit report (see those lawsuits above), which means the next time we have to move, and they check our credit, it costs us thousands of dollars in extra deposits, if they will even rent to us. Where do you think we can come up with that kind of money – especially since we are still paying off those lawsuits that take our child support – if we are lucky enough to get child support?

We are sexually assaulted by bosses, men at church, our fathers or brothers (yes, even as adults), and complete strangers. But we aren’t believed by the authorities, or we are threatened by our abusers if we tell — and we know they will kill us and make our bodies disappear. Worse yet, this happens to our daughters – and our sons.

If we say anything to people at church they start to wonder what we are doing to bring all this calamity on our own heads, so we learn to keep our mouths shut and bear it in silence.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg – for the sake of space and time.

I have wondered many times, why, exactly, Satan hates us so much. It is very obvious he does because the things we experience are just so far beyond normal it defies explanation.

A couple weeks ago, as I asked God this question again, the answer came back fast and crystal clear.

And I will put enmity between thee and the woman…

Gen. 3:15

There is nothing at all in this curse against Satan/the serpent to limit it to Satan, Mary and Jesus! This was between Satan and all women, including, and particularly prophetically of Satan, Mary and Jesus.

What is the answer? Honestly, I don’t know. But I know that He who is in me is greater than he who is in the world. I know that Satan cannot win the war.

I spend a lot of time in the Psalms and David frequently cries out to God to hide him and talks about taking refuge in God as his fortress. I pray for that myself!

One passage that I claim and live with constantly as God’s promise to me is Ps. 37, particularly v. 3-11:

Trust in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring fourth your righteousness as the light
And your judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;
Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.
Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;
And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.
But the humble will inherit the land
And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.

God says so – it is true. I don’t know how. I don’t know when. But this is God’s promise. Somehow, in spite of the everyday challenges which seem insurmountable, God will make a way. To the other women who walk where I walk, you know exactly what I’m talking about. There are days when you literally have no way to meet the day’s needs. But somehow tomorrow comes and God makes everything work out. I do not know how because it defies reason. And the struggle and stress are not fun.

In the process, I also have to acknowledge, God teaches me new lessons. As victims, we learn to keep our heads down and our mouths shut. One huge thing we have to learn is to stop keeping our heads down and our mouths shut! So that is one huge thing God is teaching me. He is teaching me to stand for myself and my children – always. I’ve always been Mrs. Nice. I’m still nice – but with an iron hand inside that kid glove.

But we also need to remember – we have a powerful enemy. He cannot win. But he also should not be underestimated.

6 Responses

  1. Hmm… I asked God this question last year… “Why does religion – why does Satan hate women so much?” The verse in Genesis 3 is part of that answer, but I altered the question a little… “Why does religion – why does satan fear women so much that it/he feel the need to keep them squashed and submitted?” I think the hate stems from the enmity, but also from the fear. Hmm… we are hated and vilified and victimized because we are feared… I’m still waiting to get the answer to why we are so feared, but in part, it has to do with bearing life…

    • That’s a good question to ponder. I’ll have to think about that one too.

      Part of the answer is later in Gen. 3, as well. Men desire to rule over women. That’s a curse, not a statement of divine order! (And women desire men to meet all their needs, which is a curse, because GOD is the one who meets all our needs, not a man.)

      Church and family structure which emphasizes the subjugation of women under the rule of men should be an automatic red flag because it is an order structure that is a reflection of a curse!!! That is why Jesus’ model in the New Testament is so powerful. He came to set us free from those curses and He stood these ungodly models on their ear by saying that in Christ there is no slave or free man, etc. The greatest should be as the least, the leader is the servant of all, leaders must not rule over the flock, and women are not precluded from service – I do love Phebe in the full Greek. 😉

      I’ve gotta write about this one…

      — Danni

  2. loves to use abusive men to accomplish his purposes

    I would say it should read “loves to use abusive people to accomplish his purposes”.

    I think it is unfair to say that men desire to rule over women. Some do, some do not. It would be more accurate to say some people desire to rule over other people. And some people desire to have other people meet all their needs.

    I have a post coming on my site on the 12th that is an ABC video showing a woman abusing a man on a park bench. 163 people walked by and did nothing. Only 1 group of 4 women actually stopped and did the right thing. Yet when it was flipped numerous people stopped and did something.

    Why mention the video? Because it shows how often we do not see the evil and abuses that happen right in front of us. It is almost like a trick. I get people to focus on my left hand (i.e. abusive men) so they miss seeing the right hand (i.e. abusive women) and they should be seeing both hands (i.e. abusive people).

    I am one of those people that think it is harmful to polarize things like abuse. These are all human rights issues rather than male/female issues.

    And one more thing if I may. This December 10th is the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights ratified by the United Nations. It is only 1700 words long but it is a very thoughtful document that, to me, every group/organization should read and follow. Sadly not a lot of people have ever even heard about this document let alone read it. Here is a link to it for those who wish to read it:

    Click to access declaration%20_eng.pdf

    • You are quite right that abuse is not only a woman issue. In this post, I’m merely spotlighting the fact of the Biblical curse which specifically states Satan would hate women, and that men would desire to rule women. And as a single woman out here, who works with a lot of other single women in the same situation, it is just too much for coincidence. The woman hater I’m referring to is not a man or men – it is Satan. In the lives of single-again women, he has used abusive husbands. However, as you say, it could just as well say abusive people, though I was talking about what he has used in our specific situations, which is abusive husbands.

      I tend to write from the perspective of a female abused by a male because that was my marital and church experience which is predominantly what I write about. Also Protestant church structure is inherently male dominated and the Protestant church teaches a marriage structure that is male dominated. That male dominance is hard-coded into the theology and it is Biblically inaccurate and leads to abuse. It leads to spiritual abuse of leaders against men, women and children. It leads to general and specific abuses against women and children by men who consider themselves the God-given dominant party. My site is specifically written for abuse in the Protestant church. In that particular subset, this is a specific issue I will continue to address.

      However, in the world of abuse as a whole, there is definitely no gender distinction. Women abuse men and children. My own molester (who was from church) was a female. I’ve seen women in the Protestant church who are abusive – so it’s not even something that doesn’t happen there by anymeans! It’s hardly limited to a male vs. female problem. And I also try to regularly clarify that abuse is not a male vs. female issue. It is just as serious a problem the other way around, and I have seen it happen the other way around.

      To stop and make a gender statement every time I write something gets awkward. So I hope people read enough of my writing to see I’m not saying it’s a man vs. woman thing. In fact, another commenter thanked me for that earlier today, so someone saw it somewhere.

      I also agree that it would do all of us well to consider the reality of human rights. We really don’t – which says a lot of negative things about the state of humanity. Unfortunately, I’d have to say the church is one of the greatest offenders, too. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect! Not just the ones a particular group has decided are the worthy ones.

      — Danni

  3. My apologies Danni as I do read your site and do know and understand you are not saying that.

    I also very much agree that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.

    • No worries! I also knew when I wrote that title it was a flaming target! LOL! It sounds like I’m a feminist zealot who’s lost all sense of balance – which I hope I never become.

      The issue of human rights and how the church, which of all institutions should be at the forefront of understanding but instead is far back in the line, is something I have struggled to communicate clearly in my sociology class this semester. It is difficult to even put into words because it seems like such a dichotomy. But it is reality.

      — Danni

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