Since this commenter has persisted in an astonishingly pernicious “bombing” of this blog, I have decided to point out his example to readers. Here are links to the threads on which HPK has posted so you can see all the comments posted by this reader, except for a couple which I deleted following his defiance of my wishes:
- Why Pastors Won’t Stand Against Abuse
- Does God Want Me to Stay in an Abusive Marriage?
- Rick Warren and Saddleback Church on Domestic Violence
- Should I Get a Divorce?
- Theology of an Abusive Marriage
- Factional Christian-ese Marriage Menders
- What the Bible Says..
- The Issue at the Heart of Domestic Violence
- Is “Fireproof” Helpful for Abusive Marriages?
- When a Pastor is Accused: Is He Innocent or Guilty?
After attempting to engage politely with this writer for several days, and after his insistence on continual disrespect, I told him he was no longer welcome here and to stop posting comments. In amusing irony, he then decided that “God led” him to leave this blog. Really? “God” led him away? After I told him not to post?
Just this statement alone should raise all kinds of red flags. He might as well have directly stated, “well, I won’t leave because you said so even though this is your blog, only because God said so, because I have no respect for you even though you are the owner of this blog.”
Well, after a break from “Happy” thoughts, he returned today. Since he decided to defy my stated wishes, I think his comments are worthy of making an example. Here is our exchange:
Happy Promise Keeper:
Hi, Danni. I am led of the Lord to come back here for a time. I would like to comment on this that you said …..
“Domestic abuse is exactly the same spirit as sexual adultery, but even more egregious because it includes the element of a murderous spirit. ”
Please share with me how you arrive at this conclusion, of course aside from simple opinion. I simply cannot see this point born out in Scripture. The Scripture is VERY clear that one CAN divorce for adultery and even remarry. But, with the vague definitions of “domestic abuse” we see these days, I am concerned that we are allowing too much liberty to divorce unless and until EACH case of alleged domestic abuse is proven. If we broaden Scripturally-allowed divorces to include the mere allegations of this “domestic abuse” then we are doing a disservice to marriage.
Agree or disagree?
You were not led of the Lord to come back here in direct violation of my request for you to refrain. That expresses a tremendous lack of understanding of Biblical authority and reveals your personal fundamental disrespect for women.
How would it be possible for “the Lord” to lead you back here when the owner of this blog specifically told you not to post again? On this blog I have the authority to say who can post and who cannot. You have been very specifically told not to post but you say “the Lord” led you to disobey the authority on this blog? That is categorically impossible. So you need to check what “Lord” you are obeying – it is not the God of the Bible.
Your behavior is that of an abuser. YOU are openly expressing – and leaving a visible public record of – your own heart. Your choices are revealing some very vivid errors:
1) You are insisting on your will over what has been clearly expressed by another – which is abusive. This is the same heart of a man who will insist on his will over his wife’s because he does not believe his wife has any authority over anything – not even her own thoughts, beliefs, opinions, or ideas. If you will do this to a stranger on a public forum – you will do it to your wife and any other woman. I will go so far as to say with complete assurance that, since you cannot refrain from such behavior with a stranger in a public forum, this is a pattern of behavior that characterizes you in all your relationships with women.
2) You are using spiritual manipulation by saying “the Lord” directed you. The Lord will never direct someone to violate the will of another where that other person’s will is of equal, or greater, weight in the situation. The only way you can justify this is if you fundamentally believe your will is superior to mine and you have some inherent right to supercede and dominate mine – in blogland, where you have no authority; on my blog, where I have all of the administrative authority. This means your words that “the Lord” directed you are a lie and manipulative. If you are not aware that you are lying and being manipulative you need to get on your face with God in some serious repentance. That is a fact – which I’m quite sure you will reject.
3) We have previous addressed your insistence that I justify my writing to you – even on this thread. This is bullying, and again, forcing your will in dominance over me. I will not justify one word to you. I attempted to engage in dialogue with you and you amply demonstrated that you will not receive anything I say. So there is no point. “Answer not a fool according to his folly…”
4) Your choice to come back here and attempt to pick up where you left off is also typical abuser behavior. Abusers frequently make the rounds back where they have been before and previously attempted or succeeded in abuse, to see if they can pull the string again. Is there still a sucker attached to this one? You just did something so extremely stereotypical of an abuser, I am amazed.
You have some personal choices to make. You can receive the truth that I have just told you, or you can reject it. But one choice you do not have is to engage me in conversation on my blog about what I have written. This is not because I cannot defend what I believe. It is because I refuse to attempt to engage with an abuser. I have deleted your other comment. I will only leave comments by you because they continue to reveal your abusive heart attitudes – since they then stand as a living testimonial for others to see your example. Other similar comments from you will receive a similar response from me.
Filed under: abuse and the church, divorce, Family Abuse & Relationships, marriage, relationships | Tagged: anger, domestic abuse, domestic abuse in Christian marriage, domestic violence, marital abuse, rage, violence |