By Danni Moss
Copyright protected, all rights reserved
Written June 7, 2009
During the last summer of my marriage God showed me the truth about the power of the tongue in abuse and that it has the power of life and death. He revealed to me that my husband’s constant curses were literally killing me, resulting in cancer.
However, the other day God showed me another layer of truth to this. He showed me that by not standing against these curses I was standing in agreement with them. I stood up for my children, with my eyes constantly on the physical abuse. This earned me even greater wrath from my husband. But I did not stand up for myself.
I had been taught not to stand up for myself. I had been taught that a wife should submit to her disobedient husband without a word (which is a misunderstanding of the Word that I talk about in the “What Does the Word Really Say?” series), and I had been drilled all my life that I was “less than” and whatever other people said about me must be true. I was told to turn the other cheek (again, taken out of context to make a wrong application). So it did not occur to me to stand up in the truth of the Word against the curses. I may have objected now and then, but I did not persist and I certainly didn’t do so on a constant or regular basis.
This is a very important distinction to note. We are taught to “give preference” and submit in silence, but this issue is not about defending ourselves, it is about standing up for God’s righteousness and truth. That makes all the difference in the world.
So as my husband cursed me on a daily basis, with practically every word out of his mouth directed toward me, I let those curses stand in my life. Twenty years of nearly daily curses piled up against my spirit, soul, and body.
Is it any wonder I ended up with a death-curse of cancer? And while I can say that cancer resulted from the death curses of his mouth, I also have to own the fact that I did not stand against those curses. In so doing, I accepted them even though I hated them.
This is yet another reason why we must not remain in subjection to the curses of an abuser. We have a responsibility to steward the temple of God which is our bodies. If God speaks life but our spouse speaks death, that spouse is demanding an idolatrous allegiance from us! It is just that simple and that serious.