Is Domestic Abuse Just a Satanic Deception?

By Danni Moss
Copyright protected, all rights reserved

This came up in a comments conversation, and it is, unfortunately, a commonly-held idea. So I thought it would be worth expanding a bit and giving a spotlight of its own. Thanks for sharing, Hannah!

HANNAH:

I came across another [person who doesn’t understand. She said wives] are easily deceived just like Eve. [She] almost hinted that women THINK they are being abused, but generally they are just manipulating to make sure they get their way.

MY RESPONSE:

Why would this woman be under the impression wives are “easily deceived” “like Eve?” I do not see a single thing in Gen. 3 that says Eve was particularly vulnerable to deception, as opposed to Adam.

Nothing at all was said to Eve regarding her “weakness” or sin, other than being given her consequences for disobedience. God held her responsible for her choice but did not offer any additional comment or chastisement. It was simple consequences for action, as is always the case for sin.

But in Gen. 3 Adam was rebuked for listening to Eve – instead of obeying God. In his case, this was a sin of idolatry. He chose to obey his wife over God, when God had personally given Him instructions and he had a direct relationship with God on the subject. I believe this rebuke is clearly because of his idolatry, not because of the gender of the person to whom he listened! God takes idolatry very seriously.

At the same time, there is nothing in this passage to support the idea (extrapolated from the text by some preachers) that men who listen to their wives are panty-waists.

Adam was the person to whom God had given the instruction about what to eat and what to avoid – not Eve. We are left completely in the dark as to what Eve did or did not know about what God told Adam, other than that God said she wasn’t supposed to eat of that tree. So we really cannot make guesses as to her guilt or innocence of motive beyond the text. All we have is what is in the text. She knew better, she chose to do it anyway, and she was given consequences as a result of that choice.

God did not offer any additional rebuke to Eve. However, God did rebuke Adam. That rebuke was not because Adam failed to be a good leader to his family (as some pastors like to say). It was not because he failed to be a “big enough man” (as some pastors like to say). It was because Adam committed idolatry – plain and simple. He obeyed man rather than God. God Himself had given Adam a direct command and Adam chose to follow someone else.

Elsewhere in Scripture it says Eve was deceived and Paul expressed concern that Satan could deceive the Corinthian believers in the same way (II Cor. 11:3). Again, there is no implication here that this was a “woman” problem, as opposed to a “man” problem. In fact, Paul was addressing Christians of both sexes — he obviously didn’t think this was a “wives” or “woman” problem!

THE reason this woman has the idea women are easily deceived is because preachers preach that garbage from the pulpit as if it were from the Bible. They support it with passages like the “weaker vessel” verse, etc. and say women are morally weaker than men. This is utterly unsupportable by the Word and takes verses out of context to create a new doctrine out of whole cloth.

However, preachers today do not come by this idea out of their own heads. This is a long-standing, unbroken tradition from at least as far back as St. Augustine in the Catholic church. St. Augustine stamped large on the theology of the church regarding the roles of men and women.

Unfortunately, Augustine’s beliefs on the subject of marriage were colored by two utterly unreliable – and extra-biblical – sources. He viewed his own parents’ dysfunctional marriage as an ideal. His mother absolutely submitted to his father’s rages and taught other women to blindly and unquestioningly do that same. He also thought highly of the philosophy of Aristotle, who espoused the idea that women must be subjugated to men for the sake of the function of community. Aristotle lived before Christ and certainly did not acquire any of his ideas from any Judeo-Christian text.

But these two sources — the marriage of Augustine’s parents and the philosophy of Aristotle — were the unspoken mold that held the hand that wrote the theology of marital roles still being taught in Protestant churches today. (As time allows I will eventually write more extensively on this subject later.)

The person who said “women who think they are being abused are just deceived” is merely regurgitation the male domination/female subjugation doctrine she has been fed from the pulpit as if God said it, and she completely believes it. Unfortunately, she is far from alone in her deception.

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6 Responses

  1. Even after reading many of your articles on this website, I am intimidated about writing about the abuse on virtually every level that I have experienced in my years of marriage. Because of the lack of support, lack of belief in and most often complete rejection of people who report domestic abuse, I am clueless and hesitant as to how to proceed and progress in a healthy fashion as well as the way God wants me to proceed and grow spiritually. How does one present the great news of Jesus Christ while bringing out the specifics of horrific domestic abuse to report it? Thank you for your website and God bless you and your mission. Bobbie

    • The only answer to that is 1) on your face with God for wisdom and direction, and 2) one step at a time.

      There are no canned answers. It has to be a walk with you and God because He has personalized answers for you.

      But that’s also the good news, because He does have answers just for you. There is hope and there is help. It is just one step at a time. God doesn’t give you light today for next month. Only for right now. I really recommend getting a journal so you can seek Him each day for that nugget for today, or even for this moment, and write it down. That way Satan can’t steal it away and you have it to look back on – which is a huge faith booster.

      Bless you on your way!!!!

      — Danni

    • Bobbie,

      This was sent to me by e-mail to post to you:

      Bobbie,

      Found this by accident. I believe you. I support you and I’m here if you need to talk…whenever.
      The home phone is the same. Or you can e-mail me through my website: http://www.thebeatlesshow.net

      Casey

  2. 1 Peter 3; 6 It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].

    I agree that dreadful misogynist teaching has come from the adam and eve story. Cant tell you how many times people have told me original sin is the act of sex!

    I have believed that men and women are are made different and complimentary and to me the above passage is illustrating that feminine capacity for allowing emotionalism to rule our logic in times of stress.

    Is that another source of this idea that women are manipulative or their perceptions cant be trusted?

    Where god designed guys to be more logical. He designed us more empathic.

    In a wholesome environment (think Eden) Eve would be content to come under the covering of Adams decision ( and he wisely would have sought her for advice before coming to that decision).

    Have I come to a distorted understanding of this scripture?

    • I believe that Scripture is very clear in the relationship of male/female roles. In Genesis when God said he made a helpmate for Adam. The word helpmate translated from the original language of the Old Testament, means co-counsel. Yes Adam did have the ultimate responsibility as head of the home to make the final decisions and to be responsible for them, but he also had the responsibility to love, to care for, and to protect his wife and to listen to her counsel. This is born out in various places in scripture. If Adam had been there for Eve and he had been caring for her and watching out after her, perhaps she would have not fallen in the first place. I have always wondered, “Where was Adam and what was he was doing, when Eve experienced the face to face confrontation with Satin. Although Eve ultimately made the first decision to sin, Adam was not there to protect her. Besides wondering, what would have happened if Adam would have been there to protect Eve, I have also wondered what would have happened if Eve would have followed her role as Adams wife and co-counsel. What would have happened if Eve said to Satin, “I cannot partake of the fruit without first consulting with my husband Adam, and the first thing we will do is to is discuss this matter, pray and consult with God on this issue.” This is how God designed a relationship to function as “one.” This is what helps a relationship to be successful.
      God gives different distinctions to men and to women (having the strength of different roles) with the ability and direction to function together as “one.” This is the ultimate strength in unity (with each other and God) and the ultimate strength in numbers thing. Who could ever improve on that? By the way if a husband is truly demonstrates unconditional love to his wife, and if she knows that he is seeking to obey God’s direction and live according to God’s will, she will respond to that! In fact she will respond by loving him in return. She will also respect him and trust him, she will seek safety and shelter beside him and she will run to him for counsel and encouragement, for comfort and for security and for direction in her life. She will also honor him and call him lord! 😉 😉 She also will be willing to sit under his leadership under God, and she will feel comfortable and safe in doing so. He will also acknowledge her as his co-counsel and his prize pearl, the loveliest, and rarest of all the jewels in the entire universe.
      Remember the relationship of the bride and groom in the book of “Solomon.” Did the future groom demonstrate his love to his future bride? Did she love him in return? Would she have called him Lord?? Unfortunately relationships are often destroyed when we fail to obey God and we let sin in and keep God out!! Love the Lord your God with all your mind heart and soul, obey Him, serve Him and seek to glorify Him in all your ways and you will have a successful and a fruitful marriage.

    • kimity, I believe your understanding is distorted; and, unfortunately, this distortion is church-sanctioned.

      I Peter 3:6 does encourage women to let nothing “terrify” them. This is true. But to take that one word to mean women are emotional, weak, hysterical, unable to handle stress, and let logic fly out the window easily–that’s just a huge leap of logic in itself. (And to take that to mean women should submit to abuse is a sin) Just because I tell you not to be scared doesn’t automatically mean you are an incoherent, bumbling mess of a person who can’t ever think straight. The church has taken this one word “terrify” and created an entire persona for women that isn’t true. Just look at the women in the Bible–how many of them are like that? Most of them did have reason to feel terror, but they kept their wits about them and worked their way through the fear, trusting God all the way! That’s what this verse is about. Also, God tells BOTH men and women THROUGHOUT the Bible not to be afraid. Men also have the capacity for fear, and they also need to not give in to it. Again, to say terror is only a problem for women is not accurate and a distortion of Scripture.

      You also mention the “feminine capacity for allowing emotionalism to rule our logic in times of stress.” Where is that verse in the Bible? Is it in the story of Dorothy? Esther? Abigail? The Prov. 31 woman? Mary? You simply can’t support that statement with Scripture. And neither can your fundamentalist preacher who has a degree from that well-known Bible college.

      The curse that was put on Adam was that he would desire to dominate women. That curse is alive and well among the Christian men who interpret Scripture. What they have done is interpret this Scripture (and others) in a way that allows them to rule over women and then use Scripture to back it up.

      You state, “Where god designed guys to be more logical. He designed us more empathic.” I believe men and women BOTH have the capacity for logic and for empathy, although the statement may be generally true. But I don’t believe this statement means you cannot use a woman for logic or ask a man for empathy. That’s where this statement becomes a black-and-white edict coming from the mouth of a fundamentalist preacher, who really is saying, “Men are more logical; therefore, women, you are not logical and should obey everything they say. Women are more empathetic, so they should stay home and raise children and not question their husband.” These preachers desperately want to put men and women in separate boxes, and I believe it’s because they’ve given into the curse and are calling it holy.

      Lastly, you state, “In a wholesome environment (think Eden) Eve would be content to come under the covering of Adams decision ( and he wisely would have sought her for advice before coming to that decision).” Your example is about Eden, which is a place that had no sin! So it doesn’t really apply. We live in a fallen world where the husbands who should keep the best interest of their wife in mind don’t–because they are sinners. And this particularly applies to abusers, who use their covering as an excuse to murder their wives emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes even physically. And, ironically, they do it in part because they have no control over their emotions. Now where is the “logic” in that?

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