Farewell

April 27, 1964 – June 13, 2010

From the siblings of Danni Moss:

On June 13, 2010, following a prolonged battle with cancer, Danni departed this life and stepped into the presence of the Lord.

Obviously, this creates a significant question as to the future of this blog. We are enormously proud of Danni and the work to which she had dedicated herself and we definitely want to preserve the wisdom God gave her to impart to others through her exceptional writing. In addition, due to Danni’s tireless efforts, this blog is now a reference resource for many others both online and off.

In light of that, we have made the decision to keep her blog online as long as possible.  However, as there will be no one present to moderate comments or respond to emails, we will be disabling those functions. We WILL allow comments on THIS post for a period of time for those who might want to leave remembrances. We are archiving those for Danni’s children so they will understand the extent of her ministry.

She will be greatly missed…

Pastor Jonathan Locust Sr. Sued For Fraud and Abuse

Pastor Jonathan Locust Sr. is being sued by three women who allege he used his position of authority to commit fraud, and sexual, emotional, and spiritual abuse against them for two years.

The linked article gives a good snapshot of how an abusive pastor may operate. In saying this I’m not making a judgment about this man’s guilt or innocence. But the actions described by the plaintiffs are ones I have seen many times before.

It is my hope that if anyone affected by this case should find this blog, you can find some help and additional insight about dealing with the issue of alleged abuse in the church in the articles in the right sidebar of this site and under the Church Abuse tab.

Is Your Spouse or Pastor a Serial Bully?

This information blew my mind. It describes my ex-husband so precisely, it’s just spooky. I’ve known quite a few pastors who fit this description as well.

Please note, this is not a gender-specific problem. The gender of a serial bully can be female or male. This applies in marriage – the bully could be a wife rather than a husband. It also applies in church leadership. The female serial bully may be a Sunday School teacher, pastor in some churches, elder/deacon/board member, women’s leader, etc.

The serial bully:

• is a *convincing,* *practised liar* and when called to account,
  will make up anything spontaneously to fit their needs at that moment
• has a *Jekyll and Hyde nature* – is vile, vicious and vindictive
  in private, but innocent and charming in front of witnesses;
  no-one can (or wants to) believe this individual has a vindictive
  nature – only the current target of the serial bully’s aggression
  sees both sides; whilst the Jekyll side is described as “charming”
  and convincing enough to deceive personnel, management and a
  tribunal, the Hyde side is frequently described as “evil”; Hyde is
  the real person, Jekyll is an act
• excels at *deception* and should never be underestimated in their
  capacity to deceive
• uses excessive *charm* and is always plausible and convincing when
  peers, superiors or others are present (charm can be used to
  deceive as well as to cover for lack of empathy)
• is *glib, shallow and superficial* with plenty of fine words and
  lots of form – but there’s no substance
• is possessed of an *exceptional verbal facility* and will
  outmanoeuvre most people in verbal interaction, especially at
  times of conflict
• is often described as *smooth*, *slippery, slimy, ingratiating,
  fawning, toadying, obsequious, sycophantic*
• relies on *mimicry, repetition* and *regurgitation* to convince
  others that he or she is both a “normal” human being and a tough
  dynamic manager, as in extolling the virtues of the latest
  management fads and pouring forth the accompanying jargon
• is unusually skilled in *being able to anticipate what people want
  to hear* and then saying it plausibly
• *cannot be trusted or relied upon*
• *fails to fulfil commitments*
• is *emotionally retarded* with an *arrested level of emotional
  development*; whilst language and intellect may appear to be that
  of an adult, the bully displays the emotional age of a five-year-old
• is *emotionally immature* and *emotionally untrustworthy*
• exhibits *unusual and inappropriate attitudes to sexual matters,
  sexual behaviour and bodily functions*; underneath the charming
  exterior there are often suspicions or hints of sex discrimination
  and sexual harassment, perhaps also sexual dysfunction, sexual
  inadequacy, sexual perversion, sexual violence or sexual abuse
• in a relationship, is *incapable of initiating or sustaining
  intimacy*
• *holds deep prejudices* (eg against the opposite gender, people of
  a different sexual orientation, other cultures and religious
  beliefs, foreigners, etc – prejudiced people are unvaryingly
  unimaginative) but goes to great lengths to keep this prejudicial
  aspect of their personality secret
• is *self-opinionated* and displays *arrogance*, *audacity, a
  superior sense of entitlement* and sense of *invulnerability* and
  *untouchability*
• has a deep-seated *contempt of clients* in contrast to his or her
  professed compassion
• is a *control freak* and has a *compulsive need to control*
  everyone and everything you say, do, think and believe; for
  example, will launch an immediate personal attack attempting to
  restrict what you are permitted to say if you start talking
  knowledgeably about psychopathic personality or antisocial
  personality disorder
  in their presence –
  but aggressively maintains the right to talk (usually
  unknowledgeably) about anything they choose; serial bullies
  despise anyone who enables others to see through their deception
  and their mask of sanity
• displays a *compulsive need to criticise* whilst simultaneously
  *refusing to value*, praise and acknowledge others, their
  achievements, or their existence
• *shows a lack of joined-up thinking* with conversation that
  doesn’t flow and arguments that don’t hold water
• *flits from topic to topic* so that you come away feeling you’ve
  never had a proper conversation
• *refuses to be specific* and *never gives a straight answer*
• is *evasive* and has a Houdini-like ability to *escape
  accountability*
• *undermines* and *destroys* anyone who the bully perceives to be
  an adversary, a potential threat, or who can see through the
  bully’s mask
• is *adept at creating conflict *between those who would otherwise
  collate incriminating information about them
• is *quick to discredit and neutralise* anyone who can talk
  knowledgeably about antisocial or sociopathic behaviors
• may pursue a *vindictive vendetta* against anyone who dares to
  held them accountable, perhaps using others’ resources and
  contemptuous of the damage caused to other people and
  organisations in pursuance of the vendetta
• is also *quick to belittle, undermine, denigrate and discredit*
  anyone who calls, attempts to call, or might call the bully to
  account
• *gains gratification from denying people what they are entitled to*
• is *highly manipulative*, especially of people’s perceptions and
  emotions (eg guilt)
• *poisons peoples’ minds* by manipulating their perceptions
• when called upon to share or address the needs and concerns of
  others, responds with *impatience, irritability and aggression*
• *is arrogant, haughty, high-handed*, and *a know-all*
• often has an overwhelming, unhealthy and narcissistic
  *attention-seeking
  need to portray themselves as a wonderful, kind, caring and
  compassionate person*, in contrast to their behaviour and
  treatment of others; the bully sees nothing wrong with their
  behavior and chooses to remain oblivious to the discrepancy
  between how they like to be seen and how they are seen by others
• is *spiritually dead* although may loudly profess some religious
  belief or affiliation
• is *mean-spirited*, *officious*, and often *unbelievably petty*
• is *mean, stingy*, and *financially untrustworthy*
• is *greedy, selfish, *a *parasite *and an *emotional vampire*
• is *always a taker *and *never a giver* [Note from Danni: On this one I would say, never a giver unless there is a hidden motive of manipulation to gain.]
• is convinced of their *superiority* and has an *overbearing belief
  in their qualities of leadership* but cannot distinguish between
  leadership (maturity, decisiveness, assertiveness, co-operation,
  trust, integrity) and bullying (immaturity, impulsiveness,
  aggression, manipulation, distrust, deceitfulness)
• often *fraudulently claims* qualifications, experience, titles,
  entitlements or affiliations which are ambiguous, misleading, or
  bogus
• often *misses the semantic meaning of language*, misinterprets
  what is said, sometimes wrongly thinking that comments of a
  satirical, ironic or general negative nature apply to him or herself
• *knows the words but not the song*
• is *constantly imposing on others a false reality* made up of
  distortion and fabrication
• sometimes *displays a seemingly limitless demonic energy*
  especially when engaged in attention-seeking activities or evasion
  of accountability and is often a *committeeaholic* or apparent
  *workaholic*

Pastor Jose Campoverde Charged with Child Sex Abuse

Pastor Jose Campoverde has been arrested on suspicion of molesting four girls in his church in Anaheim, CA. According to the linked article, Campoverde is being held in lieu of $500,000 bail on suspicion of lewd conduct with a minor, sexual battery, child annoyance and false imprisonment.

It is my hope that if anyone affected by this case should find this blog, you can find some help and additional insight about dealing with the issue of alleged sexual abuse in the church in the articles in the right sidebar of this site and under the Church Abuse tab.

Church Volunteer Angelo Serrano Charged with Child Sex Abuse

Church volunteer Angelo Serrano was arrested for suspected sexual abuse against a 10-year-old boy. He has been charged with one count of first degree sexual abuse.

It is my hope that if anyone affected by this case should find this blog, you can find some help and additional insight about dealing with the issue of alleged sexual abuse in the church in the articles in the right sidebar of this site and under the Church Abuse tab.

Pastor Jessica Banks Sentenced for Child Abuse

Southern California pastor Jessica Banks was sentenced to life in state prison last Friday for abusing her five adopted daughters, who were beaten daily, fed spoiled food and hidden in a garage.

According to the linked article Jessica Banks, 65, of Moreno Vally was sentenced to 36 years and 8 months in prison along with two consecutive terms of 15 years to life. Superior Court Judge Richard Hanscom in Riverside described it as the worst abuse case he had seen.

However, the Moreno Valley woman denied any wrongdoing and her attorney said an appeal was planned.

It is my hope that if anyone affected by this case should find this blog, you can find some help and additional insight about dealing with the issue of clergy abuse in the articles in the right sidebar of this site and under the Church Abuse tab.

Former Youth Pastor John Picard Sentenced for Sex Abuse

Former youth pastor John Picard was sentenced to 40 years in prison for sexual battery, with no possibility of parole. According to the linked article, Picard was convicted on all 42 counts of sexual battery at the end of a six-day trial. The former youth pastor used coercion to form sexual relationships with six female parishioners.

It is my hope that if anyone affected by this case should find this blog, you can find some help and additional insight dealing with the issue of clergy sex abuse in the articles in the right sidebar of this site and under the Church Abuse tab.