Why Won’t the Church Address Domestic Violence?

I have to give a round of applause to Michael Spencer of the Internet Monk blog for his piece yesterday on this subject. He did a great job and he’s taking some heat for it.

You have to read it, but he gives 10 reasons why churches and pastors won’t step up to the plate on the issue of domestic abuse in the church – and they are not only right on target but communicated in a way that strips all the veneer of piety right off the excuses. I love the fact that he’s daring to take on the issue, when he is 1) a man!!!! yeah!, and 2) not a victim. In a strange twist of illogic, victims who speak out are automatically discounted considerably because we are assumed to have an agenda of validating ourselves.

So check it out and be sure to let the iMonk know you appreciate it!

7 Responses

  1. Wow, thanks for posting this, danni. I read the whole thread and overall it was very encouraging. He has a great site.

  2. I really appreciate your comments on Hannah’s blog. Thank you for continuing to expose abuse through the Scriptures, even when it stings because it hits close to home.

    • 😉 And Anonymous gave me fodder for another article. Working on it now; don’t know how long it will take. I’m also planning to write about Piper and am collecting information.

      — Danni

  3. I think our “Happy Promise Keeper” just posted on there as “Truth Seeker”.

    • Isn’t it interesting how a person’s spirit can come through so clearly, even without a face or a name? 😉

      — Danni

  4. I read the entire page. It took a while to do, but I learned a few things from reading it. One comment that caught my attention was how a Pastor had tried to make the “abused” woman take responsibility for 50% of the abuse she had endured from the abuser. Then this same Pastor experienced abuse himself when his car had stopped working and some men in another vehicle stopped to “help” but chose to beat the Pastor up instead. The question was asked about this Pastor that was beaten up and left, “what part of the 50% of the abuse you endured at the hands of the abusers was your responsibility?” What part of the abuse was the fellow responsible for that was beat up in the parable of the “Good Samaritan” in the Holy Bible? The abuser is 100% to blame for his/her choices to do/say what they do or don’t do. So many in the church do not understand the dynamics of domestic abuse. Submission is beautiful when done by BOTH within a healthy respectful marriage relationship. It is not difficult for a woman to submit to a man that treats her with kindness, thoughtfulness, gentleness, courtesy, etc. JESUS was a strong man because he was a gentleman in every way. He stood up to those that were abusive (Pharisees/Saducees) etc. He drove out those that were being abusive within the “house of God” where the money changers were cheating people and were not there for the purpose of praying and worshipping the LORD in accordance to the Scriptures. JESUS had “righteous anger” toward those that were abusive Spiritually, Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Financially, etc. Jesus was not passive. He was assertive. Jesus was not aggressive. He confronted issues. He did not look the other way. The Good Samaritan was willing to get involved. He did not just give $$ and think he had done a good deed. He was willing to take TIME to help the man that was wounded in more ways than one. People fear what they do not understand. Yet, to live as CHRIST, we must have compassion on the hurting and reach out to them. A cold church cares only about themselves and don’t want to “get involved”. Jesus did not come to be served but to serve. Many people will report abusive behaviours toward an animal…but when it comes to people…well that is another story. I’m not meaning to say that all Christians do this. But many do not care enuf to reach out to the hurting/wounded. The church is filled with many hurting/wounded people. Those that are strong and healthy need to “care like JESUS” and reach out and touch others with compassion. Jesus touched the leper because he had compassion. Most people ran from lepers because they are “unclean”. We are all unclean as we are all sinners. Yet, JESUS does clean us by the washing of his WORD (when rightly used to build up and bring correction and healing), and by His precious blood that was shed on Calvary’s cross for all that will accept God’s gift of Salvation thru faith in what HE did alone upon the cross of Calvary. Sadly, most do not accept God’s gift and try to deal with their hurts in their own way. If I had a broken leg, I’d want to go to a doctor who could heal me up properly. If I tried to walk on my broken leg without getting the Great Physician’s (JESUS) healing touch, then I will live in alot of pain and never heal. I need JESUS to heal every hurt/wound I have. I don’t want to hurt others with my behaviours/words. Yet, I know I still do each day. I need God’s grace and mercy (which I do have) daily and offer kindness to others that are hurting as well. I don’t need to condemn others. Yet, I will condemn anything God condemns. He is against ABUSE. I am against Homosexual behaviour because it hurts the person that is engaged in it as well as others. God condemns this lifestyle. Many folks in this lifestyle were abused as children and then they in turn abuse others UNLESS they turn to the Great Physician who changes and heals every wound/pain/hurt that a person has. He cares. He saves. He is a wonderful GOD. Satan is the enemy. He comes to kill, steal and destroy lives/homes/marriages/children/nations/etc. In order to do true battle….one must know the enemy and his tactics. The battle is the LORD’s, the victory is ours. Praise B 2 God for his love for all that will choose to accept his helping hand to heal. God is NOT like our earthly dad’s that are rough, abusive, selfish, etc. God is a GENTLE MAN. He is kind, caring, loving, and willing to lay down his life for his bride/children. He is strong enough to show his feelings in an appropriate way. He even showed emotion by crying when his friend Lazarus was dead and Mary and Martha came to him. Insecure men will belittle others and be abusive. They are gruff. They don’t want to show that they are weak. Yet…by their abusive mannerisms, they show that they are very insecure and little. Power and control over another human being is a violation and it is a crime. People need to be held accountable when they will not repent from their abusive mannerisms. They should never be “protected” within a church or by their spouses. Many woman will enable abuse by making excuses for their husbands. They may call their husband’s place of employment to say that her husband is sick with the flu…but the truth is he suffering from a hangover from his choice to drink too much and come home drunk and be abusive. This is irresponsibility on the part of wives to “cover up” hurt behaviours. When we love someone, we do not allow for hurtful behaviours to continue. We will care enuf to get help and deal with the underlying issues that the abuser does not want to deal with, and therefore chooses to drink to numb their emotional pain. It is not difficult to submit to a man that is kind and willing to lay down his life for his wife. Instead, many abusive men want their wives to lay their lives down for them. It is wrong according to the Scriptures. The LORD laid down his life for us. He is a true man in every way. He is my FATHER, HUSBAND, FRIEND, etc. He means everything to me. I love him because he first loved me. God bless.

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